


When You Sleep

by wrhl



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Guilt, M/M, and now luke feels bad, like the galactic empire never found them and han left and luke left with him, the events after hoth like never happened you know, theyre soft cuddle boys, title taken from a my bloody valentine song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-17 02:54:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11266452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrhl/pseuds/wrhl
Summary: The Empire finding out about Hoth never happened, Han Solo got to leave, Luke decided to leave with him. Guilt ensues.





	When You Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> My first Star Wars fic! I hope it's not too ooc or terrible or whatever.

Luke tossed in the cramped bunk, trying to find a more satisfactory positon. He couldn’t seem to make himself comfortable. He told himself it was the mattress and not the thoughts that kept him awake. Didn’t always mean that he believed it. This time was one of those times.

It was quiet, for once. And somehow it was still too loud. Maybe because it wasn’t loud enough. Maybe because he couldn’t drown himself out with the sounds of blasters or Chewie and Han yelling to each other. His thoughts swirled, doubt gnawing at his brain.

He crawled out of the tiny bunk and onto his feet. He was never going to get any sleep and he didn’t want to be alone. Being alone when the guilt hung over him like a heaving beast was too much. He might actually think about going back to the resistance if he spent too much time by himself.

He was going to go look for Han. He would help him keep from going down that train of thought any more than he had to.

“Han?” He called for his lover. Seeing his face would drown out his thoughts. At least, enough for him to be able to fall asleep. He waltzed down to the helm of the falcon.

Han was alone, sitting, watching, waiting. Whether it was for their destination or trouble Luke was never certain. He always had that pensive stare about him, eyes always vigilant, watching for more violent smugglers or worse, The Galactic Republic.

Luke plopped down in the co-pilot’s chair, silently watching Han as he went about his work.

“Whatcha staring at me for, kid?” he asked, flipping switches, checking screens.

Luke propped his head up with his hand. “Couldn’t sleep.” He continued to stare at Han, studying his moves.

Han heaved a sigh, he knew what that meant. They had been off Hoth for a few weeks now, the guilt had set in as soon as he made the decision to follow him. “Look if you wanna go back --,” he started. They had had this conversation before. Many times before.

“No,” Luke cut him off, “I don’t wanna go back. You know that. I wanna be here with you.”

Han glanced at him, almost like he looked at him and then thought better of it, not able to see the expression on his face. “Alright. Just know that you don’t have to stay here. And that I wouldn’t want you here if you were truly unhappy.”

“I just feel bad, that’s all. I’m worried about Leia.”

Han bit the inside of his cheek. “Me, too.”

Luke hadn’t gotten the chance to go to Dagobah, so he didn’t have any training, but even his raw Jedi powers could sense that Han was feeling guilt as well.

They had left their friends and a worthy cause to fight a war by themselves. But they couldn’t lose each other and Han didn’t want to stick his nose into hero business anymore. And Luke went with Han.

Silence seeped in, the conversation having petered out, fizzled into nothingness. At least they had grown used to semi-awkward silence now. Luke just looked at the black expanse, space enveloping their tiny ship. It almost made him feel better to seem so miniscule.

“Where are we headed to next?” he asked Han.

“Outer rim. We got a spice run to Jaba.”

“I thought he still didn’t trust you.”

“I paid him back. And I am one of the best smugglers.” He looked proud at this, a small, chuffed smile passing his lips.

Luke shared his happiness, smirking at his lover. It was rare that they smiled anymore. Luke just felt so bad about leaving the resistance. But he knew that he would feel even worse about leaving Han.

Luke looked back out at space again, there was nothing here, planets and ships few and far between. “Come to bed with me,” he asked of Han.

Han waved him off.

“Come on, you look tired.” Luke stood up from his chair and reached a hand out to his lover. “Please.”

Han seceded, standing up from his position, grabbing Luke’s hand, rolling his eyes. “Chewie?” he shouted, his voice echoing around the chamber.

Chewie poked his head out, uttering a noise Luke still couldn’t decipher.

“Watch the helm for me. I’m going to sleep.”

Chewie nodded and walked forward, passing the two lovers as they started their walk down to the bunks, sinking into the captain’s chair and resuming the diligent work that Han had just left.

Han crawled in first, opening his arms for Luke to fold himself into. When they slept like this, even if they woke up with various limbs asleep, it was more comfortable than any other way. These bunks were way too small.

Luke was finally warm, comfortable for the first time that day. Han smelled like dirt, but in the good way. Fresh soil of bountiful planets, like the grass and the trees and everything Luke had never seen till he was off of Tattooine. He burrowed his face into Han’s arm, breathing a relieved breath. It was always so much easier to sleep when Han was holding him. He could think about him rather than his selfish decisions.

“Why do you never sleep alone?” Han asked him, petting stray strands of hair away from Luke’s face. His fingers were calloused and rough on Luke’s delicate skin, but there was something welcoming about it, it was a reminder that it was Han.

“I think less when I’m with you.” Luke’s voice was garbled, mouth spewing words against Han’s tanned and leathered skin. “Everything hurts less when I’m with you.”

Han distinguished the words out alright, kissing the shell of Luke’s ear before tightening his grip around him and laying down to fall asleep, body warm, heart beating against Luke’s back. A steady drum beat of sleep.

Luke waited for a few beats, listening to Han breath. They were both still awake, and in the back of their minds they knew it but they didn’t acknowledge it, didn’t say anything further on the subject of sleepless nights.

Besides, there was something calming about just listening, knowing that he was there, next to him. Every time Han sucked in for air Luke knew that this was the best decision. He didn’t want to be anywhere else.


End file.
